Marketroid Attack!

Here is a collection of recently seen marketroiding. They don't make any marketing sense and are not likely to win over customers. But they passed the mustard (sic) of the top (hot) dogs and are on display. So gaze upon them and reply with the utmost condescension in the comments.

 

Limited Edition Pizza Box?

I was at a bbq party recently and saw this. First off, bring Domino's to a bbq is negligent potlucking. But this marketroiding on the side of the box caught my eye. WTF is a limited edition pizza box? Why would an 80's style box be something that needed to be retro? Does anyone remember what 80's Domino's boxes looked like? Would they care if they remembered? Did they keep a box around for 40 years as a memento? What about this new box - do you want to keep its greasy cardboard until the next retro box comes out? Can you tell the difference between the cardboard and Domino's pizza? I can't.

And on top of that there is an ad for Netflix. Is Domino's so desperate for cash? Or just trying rake in every penny before they start selling empty pizza boxes as collector items!

Natural CO2?

Read that label closely and look under the words 'MINERAL WATER'. Yes, that says NATURAL CO2 ADDED!!! WTF is natural CO2? Is the CO2 I exhale natural enough? Does it have to be from minerals in deep springs? What about all the CO2 in Coke? That is an unnatural soda so its CO2 is also unnatural. What about the origin of the carbon and oxygen? They were formed in the cosmic belch of a supernova. Was that a natural event? Ask your own damned questions in the comments. I want to have been a slug on the wall during the marketroid meeting where they came up with this and got it approved. And I found it on several other drinks of this brand.

Phone Email Signatures

• Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone
• Sent from Mail for Windows
  
• Sent from the all new AOL app for IOS
• Get Outlook for iOS

Why do email programs have to add signature lines like that? Sure I can ignore those when I read them but they stick in my craw! Do the marketroids really think this will influence anyone to switch emailers? Does anyone really care about AOL anything today? The nightmare of AOL being able to buy Time-Warner and putting their name on the credits of movies and tv shows still haunts us. Stuff produced in that era still has the AOL-TIME-WARNER logo. But of course, dial-up finally died out and AOL became a nobody trying to play with the broadband cable kiddies.